On Wednesday afternoon, I entered the current room of John of God to begin my 3.5 hour-long meditation. Our group filed in one by one at around 1:20 p.m., and separated to find comfortable places to sit on the long benches. All of us had come armed with pillows from our Posada, neck pillows, eye-masks—essentially, all the materials necessary for taking a fat nap. (We were told it is alright to sleep during current/meditation). I chose to sit in the very back so I could rest my head against the wall during the meditation. We were all told to close our eyes, and our meditation time began.

I had started the day off with 5 hours of sleep under my belt, so I immediately sunk into a very intense doze. I don’t remember much. I remember hearing a woman’s voice chanting things in Portuguese and later, a woman speaking in English. I slept for a while, and then I woke up and was very aware of how uncomfortable I was. My butt hurt, my back felt strained, it was very hot and smelly and I was very sticky…and I just could not get in a comfy position. I shifted around every five minutes trying to find a position where I could actually stay still. I also peeked under my eye-mask to see if anyone else was having the same problem as me, but everyone was still…except for the person up front, who glared at me. At this point I felt very frustrated. How was I supposed to meditate in such an uncomfortable environment?

At some point, my exhaustion—or maybe it was the spirits at work—helped me relax. I found an inner state of peace as my mind kept repeating some meta-meditation exercises that Erin had talked about. My mind felt like a calm, transparent pool that thoughts could just pass through without disturbing the peace. I felt like I could stay like that forever. After the meditation was over, I emerged feeling calm, energized, and focused. These tangible effects of meditation, I feel, can benefit all stressed individuals. However, I don’t know that these were due to my own exhaustion taking over, or if it was the work of some higher being. I will continue to spend my time in the Casa not trying to define anything, but to remain open and to collect “data points” (as Rick Sheff says) to see if I need to change my paradigm of beliefs to have a more inclusive view of the spiritual world.

By Rachel Chang