In Santiago, there is a shadow of a man dressed in walking clothes who never walks. Sitting in front of the Cathedral de Santiago, a woman named Tracy told me the story of the Shadow of the Pilgrim. In the distant past, a nun and a priest fell in love, but they could not be together because of their vows to the church. One day, they decided to run away, and made a plan to disguise themselves as pilgrims to leave the city. They said they would meet beside the cathedral at night. The priest waited and his lover never came, and so he still waits, still today, still a pilgrim, as the monument of the Shadow of the Pilgrim.

 This story strikes me because at any time, the priest could realize that his lover is not coming, and move on with his life. But the priest does not let go of the idea of his beloved, plagued with cluttered fantasies that keep him stagnant in stance. I think the Shadow of the Pilgrim takes many forms within many travelers who walk the Camino for love: here are a few.

 I walked with Tracy on the last day of the journey to Santiago. She spoke with zest and lively German articulation as she shared her life with me. She said “I’m walking to get over someone, who I was with for a very long time. I don’t even like hiking! I could have stayed at a luxury hotel somewhere instead of the Camino, but I like not thinking about him. I walk and I don’t think about him, and I rest and I am too tired to think about him or I am too busy.”

A pilgrim becomes a pilgrim in order to let go.

 Heather, I met a crosswalk 13.5 miles into a trail when the sun was HOT and little slivers of ocean flowed between buildings. This was not her first Camino; she had walked the Camino frances the year before. She told me “I think the greatest thing I learned on the Camino is that I can do anything. On the Camino I learned that it’s ok to be alone; I learned that I can love myself and that is enough. I know how I deserve to be treated, and if a man cannot recognize my worth I don’t want him.” I asked her why she was back now to which she answered “I think I am a little lost at the moment.”

A pilgrim becomes a pilgrim to find out where to go, who to be.

 On a pleasant and windy incline I met two pleasant and windy voices from Antiga. Maria and Jeorge walk the Camino to celebrate 29 years of marriage. To that information I answered “What’s your secret?” To which they answered “Do things you like together, do things like this together. Stay moving.”

Some pilgrims become pilgrims because they know that the future is written by action.

 When I go home, I know I will think about the shadows pilgrim who couldn’t find his future or his body or his now. I wish I could have shared these stories with him, so that they free him as they have freed me.